Nesting Is Weird

Nesting is a thing, who knew?! It is also incredibly weird. I'm finally in my due date week - 3 or 4 more days, depending who you ask - and I'm picking my mom up from the airport in the morning. Somehow, at 10:45pm, I am compelled to oil all my bamboo cutting boards. It is, for reals, a top priority. No matter that I haven't bothered with this task in certainly 8 months... Oiled cutting boards are now mission critical. 

Did I clean the downstairs bathroom? That pesky task that's been on my To Do for the last 4 days? Nope. Am I finished with Thank You notes from my shower this spring? Obviously not. 

But all the cutting boards are oiled and Little Miss has THE most complete and fully decorated room in our entire five bedroom, three story house. And my mom has a carafe for water and the cutest hobnail drinking glasses I could find next to her guest bed for her 3 week stay with us. 

These are clear priorities, folks. Crystle clear. 

The Final Countdown

Less than a month. In fact, under 4 weeks! One of my apps tracks the daily countdown and I'm at 23 days to go. Honestly, there were times I never thought I'd get here. Not because I had "doom and gloom" ideas that something could go wrong, but it just seemed so far away! The weeks that this little biscuit was the size of a raspberry, the length of a carrot, or when she finally hit that crown-to-toe milestone instead of crown-to-rump... Well, the prospect of her being flesh and blood and in my arms just seemed like an impossible dream. I'm so excited. I'm so scared. And I'm so uncomfortable!!

Naively, I always believed that the pregnant women who complained about the "last month" or the "last stretch" were just tired out and over the whole glowing mama-to-be shindig. Now I know. The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me god. I am so thankful to have this experience and I would never trade in this little girl to get rid of the discomfort. But DAMN this last bit really, truly sucks. It ain't no joke. 

In the last couple weeks I've developed for-serious edema: my sausage feet can't possibly belong to me and it is actually painful to put weight on them first thing in the morning; my beautiful wedding rings have been off for a week or so; I don't recognize my face when I see pictures 😕. Sleep comes only in 2 hour spurts (I suppose that's practice for newborn life?) due to the discomfort in my hips, in my abdomen every time I need to move, in my constant need to empty my bladder, in my temperature. When she's awake and moving, I could almost believe I'm having contractions because of the top-to-bottom stretching pressure she causes through my whole uterus - her head hits my bladder so hard that I get a pins and needles type of stab down there. She also makes a lot of moves in there that are just flat-out uncomfortable and force me to focus on my breathing. I'm on my third yeast infection in as many months. And I guess the relaxin has kicked in hard because my pelvis feels like someone is trying to peel it open periodically throughout the day. 

Fear about labor and delivery creeps in from time to time, but there isn't much to do about it other than accept the challenge to take on the pain and be amazed by how the body works. In an acupuncture session I was listening to a Circle + Bloom relaxation clip specifically for labor and I really believed it was altering my perception of the process. Later that day, checking email, I saw a 20% coupon off their downloads. Meant to be, right?! I'll take care of that today so I can start listening and prepping. Gotta shake the nerves in favor of pulling on my Brave Big Girl Pants!

A Tip from My Blog to Yours

Do not google "mucus plug" while eating. The pictures posted will a) make you lose your carrots and b) call into question the sanity of anyone who stops to take a photo of a mucus plug and then post it on the internet for all the world to see. A simple description, in my humble opinion, would suffice: What is a mucus plug? It is mucus that looks like snot departing your body by way of your vag and not your nose. There might be streaks of brown, pink, or red because small capillaries around your cervix may break as your body prepares for labor. It's totally normal, you don't need to take a photo. 

Grossssssss! Not eating dinner for a while at this rate...

Parenthood: is the show like real life?

Ohmigsh I'm totally emotional right now. I never watched Parenthood until I saw all the social media hooplah about it's finale and got curious. This show started in 2010?! For serious? Goshdarn that sounds like 4 lifetimes ago. I was still living in the city, just nabed myself a roommate named J, working in the Madison Ave office before it moved down to Wall St... Being a parent seemed so far away that watching a show titled as such, felt unrelatable. I saw ads for the show pop up again when we moved the CO and, being so frustrated by my lack of children, watching a show about being a parent felt like a firebrand to my chest. 

Now I feel safe watching it. So here I am, 3 episodes deep. One of the kids has Asperger's syndrome. Having worked in a special needs school that was predominantly autistic, I relate on a small level to how hard that life is. He just got accepted to a special school and watchin the joy of all the family members is so touching and just makes my heart smile. 

Is this show like real life? I'm finally 4 months into this preggy adventure and things are finally starting to feel real. Are we for real gonna have another person? A family of our own? It's an overwhelming thought. Weeks have gone by - ok, well over a month - without me writing down a thing precisely because I'm so overwhelmed with thoughts that I just never know where to start. How much of this experience will I forget because I haven't made a single note? All these little things like when I get headaches, what makes me wanna puke, which yoga poses feel great and which ones are totally awkward - I feel like I'd want to know or remember all this stuff for the next guy (or girl!)

Gender gender gender. Everyone wants to know! According to my midwife practice, we won't find out til our big 20 week scan which will be March 10. That sounds soooo far away! Ironically though, I'm going to try to wait until April 11 to do a gender reveal at the shower. Not 100% convinced that I can actually wait that long :p I've felt pretty certain for a while now that we're on the boy train. Why? I can't explain it. All through our TTC journey, I knew I was desperate for a girl. And still I definitely want a daughter in my life. But despite whatever desires I have, something about Little H is screaming "I'm a dude!!!" to me. Haha. We'll have another chance or two to see if a lady is in the cards for us if this one is gonna be a mister. 

Total rollercoaster this is. And my goodness do I love it.