Morning of the 9th day after our IUI. Things have been weird. Like... in my body, not life in general ;)
Life in General
I started volunteering at a cool non-profit this week. It was awesome to find an opportunity that actually aligns with my industry of event planning. Since they are a non-profit they put on several fundraisers each year so I am helping out with parts of an upcoming event. Right now there is a lot out of my comfort zone because we're cold-calling business asking for donations. That is relatively awkward for me and I haven't had a ton of success the last 3 days, but it will get better and I'm spending the days with a friend I met in the running group. We commiserate a lot about getting shot down repeatedly! Lotta laughs.
J has us doing another crazy fourteener hike tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about it because of A) the heart rate issue, B) the fact that he invited a friend to join, C) this is a double peak and we have to get up so incredibly early, like 3am (?!) or D) my new hiking boots haven't yet arrived and I'd need to wear light little sneakers. So if you're assuming it is all four, you would be correct. Oy!
Yesterday I got a couple interesting leads on the job front so I'll spend some time with that today.
Feelings
There is still a lot of hope in me - and J! - that this is our cycle. He asks me every day "When will we know?" He's never been this in-tune! It's a nice change even if it does feel like the line of questioning you get from a 4 year old rather than a sophisticated 32 year old financial analyst :-D
Mom calls frequently and asks in this veiled manner, "Anything new?" or "Sooooo, what's new?" This happens several times in one phone call so I have to give her credit where it's due for not flat-out asking me for updates everyday. I told her about the Clomid and then our plans to do the IUI, but wanted to save a few of the specific details of the whole situation to keep between just J and me. After all, if we were still doing it the of-fashioned way, I wouldn't be reporting that!!
I'm also feeling a small amount of anxiety. The root of it is this: I'm fully aware that this cycle may not be ours and we'd start the clock over again next weekend, but I'm anxious about how I would take it if that truly is the outcome in 7 or 8 days. What I want to avoid is shrouding myself in so much hope and positivity that if I do end up with a period in a week, my soul isn't crushed. I know we've got a couple more tries with Clomid/IUI planned and that protocol seems to fit us very well and it's so reasonably priced. The uncovered portion comes out to under $400 for us I think. So I'd like to think that I can keep my head above water next week if I get news I'm unhappy with. There is still time for us on this clock!
Body/Symptoms
For days 5-8 I was feeling some intense kind of cramping only on the right side of my lower abdomen/uterus. Every once in a while the feeling would jump to the left or be more centralized, but it was very focused on the right. Eventually, after 2 full days of it (5 and 6 dpiui) and then having it intensify the morning of the 3rd day (7dpiui), I was a little scared of an ectopic and called Elizabeth at CCRM. She said some ibuprofen is ok but if the discomfort comes through the ibuprofen, or if I have a fever, bleeding, or something else, call back immediately. So for the rest of 7dpiui, it was a discomfort I could handle (but pretty intense later at night) and I did some yoga and stretching before bed. When I woke up 8dpiui, I was almost worried that the feeling had subsided! It poked its head back in a little in the evening, but that's been it. So... who knows?! It could just be my right ovary normalizing itself after having to deal with being super stimulated by Clomid or being psyched out by the HCG trigger shot I took.
Breasts are a little on the heavy/tender side of things, but that's been somewhat standard in my cycle this past year so I'm not too excited about it. Also a good bit of watery/creamy CM, but you could easily chalk that up to me staying super hydrated.
My BBT hit a higher point than average this morning, 98.6, but I woke up just feeling so hot, it could just be an environmental influence. I've hit 98.6 a few times throughout the last year so it isn't completely unheard of during my tww. My chart is a little unusual looking though in that it appears as a steady climb up since ovulation. Once again, I'm trying to not read into it because it could just as easily start stair-stepping it's way down at any point and also my body had been introduced to a lot of chemicals it's never dealt with before which could easily influence BBT readings.
On the forums I've been visiting, there are a few ladies who got a positive HPT on their 10th day past IUI. I don't know if I'm totally crazy to try that tomorrow, but I'm tempted! Just unsure if there is a chance that the HCG trigger shot is still even a little in my system. Getting a false positive would in fact be a soul crusher.... I'll think a little more about it. Maybe wait till Sunday, 11dpiui.
Showing posts with label ovidrel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ovidrel. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2014
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Shoot 'Em Up
... Ovidrel style!
So I managed to "administer" my injection last night. Don't you just love the euphemistic medical language? I poked myself with a needle. Yowzers. My entire life I have been terrified of needles. I would practically hyperventilate when going in for routine bloodwork. Probably until I was, say, 26 when I strangely was compelled to start donating blood. Racing heart, sweaty palms... I can't say I was a strong candidate for self-administering an injection. On the other hand, all of this fertility nonsense has me pretty accustomed to needles now. Surely I do not enjoy a needle to the arm (or belly, or anywhere at all), but if I look away I can handle myself at least.
Of course, the Ovidrel injection required that I look directly at that little pinch of belly fat while I stabbed it with a "quick dart motion."
I made J count down from 5 for me after the alcohol had dried over the injection site. Elizabeth was right, I hardly felt a thing. The anticipation of sticking myself, along with the sight of a syringe sticking out of my abdomen, were positively the worst parts of the whole experience.
I hope with all of my heart I never have to do it again. Not because it was that awful, I could absolutely do it again, with my eyes shut I bet! We just want this to be over. We want this to be it. No more cycles, no more drugs, no more OPK strips, no more weekly envelopes in the mail from Cigna. Just a big, fat positive on my next test.
So I managed to "administer" my injection last night. Don't you just love the euphemistic medical language? I poked myself with a needle. Yowzers. My entire life I have been terrified of needles. I would practically hyperventilate when going in for routine bloodwork. Probably until I was, say, 26 when I strangely was compelled to start donating blood. Racing heart, sweaty palms... I can't say I was a strong candidate for self-administering an injection. On the other hand, all of this fertility nonsense has me pretty accustomed to needles now. Surely I do not enjoy a needle to the arm (or belly, or anywhere at all), but if I look away I can handle myself at least.
Of course, the Ovidrel injection required that I look directly at that little pinch of belly fat while I stabbed it with a "quick dart motion."
I made J count down from 5 for me after the alcohol had dried over the injection site. Elizabeth was right, I hardly felt a thing. The anticipation of sticking myself, along with the sight of a syringe sticking out of my abdomen, were positively the worst parts of the whole experience.
I hope with all of my heart I never have to do it again. Not because it was that awful, I could absolutely do it again, with my eyes shut I bet! We just want this to be over. We want this to be it. No more cycles, no more drugs, no more OPK strips, no more weekly envelopes in the mail from Cigna. Just a big, fat positive on my next test.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Pre-IUI Ultrasound
Today was my first check up since starting the Clomid. The ultrasound showed some impressive results!
8:30am - Monday, July 7
The first part of my appointment was the actual ultrasound with Jessica. It was pretty straightforward and I watched on the screen while she measured various follicles. Not much was going on with my left side... as per usual, at this point... but there was some activity going on in the right ovary that she was checking out. The process didn't take long, maybe 10 minutes total. Afterwards, I dressed and headed back to the waiting room and gorged myself on back issues of US Weekly. Amazing how many freaking celebrity babies are in that mag. Including a special spread on North West's first birthday party! Oy...
9:00am - Monday, July 7
My nurse called me in to review the results and do a backdated IUI consult. (Normally this is done prior to starting your Clomid course. I couldn't do the consult at the proper time since we were traveling, but Dr. M went over a bunch of important dos and don'ts at the June 20 appointment.) Other than the superficial side effects from Clomid, like mood swings and hot flashes, there can also be internal side effects. It frequently dries up whatever cervical mucous there is (impeding the production of eggwhite mucous which is problematic for couples using Clomid with intercourse), and can hinder the growth of a nice, fluffy uterine lining which can complicate implantation.
My ultrasound showed really positive results! My lining measured a healthy 8.9mm, which is right where it should be, even in a 100% natural cycle. As the ultrasound tech had suggested, nothing was really happening on my left side. There were three follicles, all measuring less than 10mm and not nearly large enough to mature and rupture as eggs. On my right side, however, there are three good looking follicles. My measurements are 22, 19 and 15mm. Our nurse gave me two insights that I thought were particularly interesting: First, if there are more than 3 viable follicles, they will cancel the IUI cycle due to the chance of multiple fertilizations. Second, as you can probably deduce from that statement, it is more common for the Clomid to stimulate only two viable follicles rather than three and so we've just upped our chances of a multiple fertilization. I had to sign an informed consent form to go forward with the cycle as scheduled.
In the years that Clomid has become a popular prescription for fertility issues, doctors have come under fire for the resultant multiple births and associated risks. Due to that, many REs (reproductive endocrinologists) are extremely sensitive to multiples and therefore do what they can to control the math.
Women have twins. It happens, naturally. What's the big deal?? That's what I had thought, too. The most common risks in a multiple gestation probably don't seem all that scary to someone who hasn't had a baby because we hear about happy-ending stories all the time: poor vision, pre-term labor, low birth weight. Modern medicine makes these things seem commonplace, but as an expectant mother, you don't want to see your infant up against any of these things. There are also very serious complications that range from miscarriage, stillbirth, diminished brain development (i.e. cerebral palsy) to problems for mom like elevated blood pressure, diabetes, and greater incidence of nausea/vomiting. So... no thanks.
The original plan Dr. M devised for me meant that I would monitor my cycle for ovulation with OPK strips and then call the office when I had a positive. Given my great response to the medication and the size of the three follicles, our nurse determined it was best to trigger my ovulation with Ovidrel (an injection of hCG, human chorionic gonadotropin). Waiting too long could either allow the follicle to grow too large, or allow ovulation to occur naturally at a time that wasn't ideal for the IUI transfer in the office. I was given a pre-filled syringe of Ovidrel with strict instructions to get it home to the fridge and then administer it PRECISELY 36 hours before my transfer. So, 9pm tonight. Yipes!
I'm excited. I'm optimistic. I'm hopeful. I'm also a little nervous. Excuse the pun, but I'm afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket - meaning, the mathematical odds of this working on the first try aren't terribly high. So I'm trying to toe the line between optimism and realism. Not an easy line to draw. The current strategy: put all of my faith behind this procedure - we are very strong candidates for success - and if it doesn't work out, know that we've still got plenty of resources to lean on for more attempts.
HERE WE GO!
8:30am - Monday, July 7
The first part of my appointment was the actual ultrasound with Jessica. It was pretty straightforward and I watched on the screen while she measured various follicles. Not much was going on with my left side... as per usual, at this point... but there was some activity going on in the right ovary that she was checking out. The process didn't take long, maybe 10 minutes total. Afterwards, I dressed and headed back to the waiting room and gorged myself on back issues of US Weekly. Amazing how many freaking celebrity babies are in that mag. Including a special spread on North West's first birthday party! Oy...
9:00am - Monday, July 7
My nurse called me in to review the results and do a backdated IUI consult. (Normally this is done prior to starting your Clomid course. I couldn't do the consult at the proper time since we were traveling, but Dr. M went over a bunch of important dos and don'ts at the June 20 appointment.) Other than the superficial side effects from Clomid, like mood swings and hot flashes, there can also be internal side effects. It frequently dries up whatever cervical mucous there is (impeding the production of eggwhite mucous which is problematic for couples using Clomid with intercourse), and can hinder the growth of a nice, fluffy uterine lining which can complicate implantation.
My ultrasound showed really positive results! My lining measured a healthy 8.9mm, which is right where it should be, even in a 100% natural cycle. As the ultrasound tech had suggested, nothing was really happening on my left side. There were three follicles, all measuring less than 10mm and not nearly large enough to mature and rupture as eggs. On my right side, however, there are three good looking follicles. My measurements are 22, 19 and 15mm. Our nurse gave me two insights that I thought were particularly interesting: First, if there are more than 3 viable follicles, they will cancel the IUI cycle due to the chance of multiple fertilizations. Second, as you can probably deduce from that statement, it is more common for the Clomid to stimulate only two viable follicles rather than three and so we've just upped our chances of a multiple fertilization. I had to sign an informed consent form to go forward with the cycle as scheduled.
***
Let's just pause for a moment. People can get real fired up when they hear any of the following: "multiples," "twins," triplets," and "Clomid" even. For people labelled as "Unexplained Infertile" like ourselves, it's important to remember the law of small numbers you're dealing with, as well as the risks associated with multiple embryos. For starters, our chances of getting pregs this cycle are only 8-12%, which I believe is only about half the likelihood of a normal couple conceiving in a given cycle. If we are lucky enough to end up with fertilization and implantation and a BFP (yep, "big fat positive" test), the stats on having two of those eggs become fertilized and give us twins? Only 10%. I'm no mathematician, but 10% of an 8-12% window seem like awfully miniscule odds! And one step further, the chances of triplets - all THREE of my eggs being fertilized - would be under 1%.In the years that Clomid has become a popular prescription for fertility issues, doctors have come under fire for the resultant multiple births and associated risks. Due to that, many REs (reproductive endocrinologists) are extremely sensitive to multiples and therefore do what they can to control the math.
Women have twins. It happens, naturally. What's the big deal?? That's what I had thought, too. The most common risks in a multiple gestation probably don't seem all that scary to someone who hasn't had a baby because we hear about happy-ending stories all the time: poor vision, pre-term labor, low birth weight. Modern medicine makes these things seem commonplace, but as an expectant mother, you don't want to see your infant up against any of these things. There are also very serious complications that range from miscarriage, stillbirth, diminished brain development (i.e. cerebral palsy) to problems for mom like elevated blood pressure, diabetes, and greater incidence of nausea/vomiting. So... no thanks.
***
The original plan Dr. M devised for me meant that I would monitor my cycle for ovulation with OPK strips and then call the office when I had a positive. Given my great response to the medication and the size of the three follicles, our nurse determined it was best to trigger my ovulation with Ovidrel (an injection of hCG, human chorionic gonadotropin). Waiting too long could either allow the follicle to grow too large, or allow ovulation to occur naturally at a time that wasn't ideal for the IUI transfer in the office. I was given a pre-filled syringe of Ovidrel with strict instructions to get it home to the fridge and then administer it PRECISELY 36 hours before my transfer. So, 9pm tonight. Yipes!
I'm excited. I'm optimistic. I'm hopeful. I'm also a little nervous. Excuse the pun, but I'm afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket - meaning, the mathematical odds of this working on the first try aren't terribly high. So I'm trying to toe the line between optimism and realism. Not an easy line to draw. The current strategy: put all of my faith behind this procedure - we are very strong candidates for success - and if it doesn't work out, know that we've still got plenty of resources to lean on for more attempts.
HERE WE GO!
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