5 DPIUI

Today is my last day as an unemployed! Woot woot! My new job is a contract position, but here's hoping they like me so much they want to hire me full time at the conclusion.

As for being 5 days past IUI... I'm feeling nothing really. Still hopeful though! I felt so much amazing, positive energy following the IUI last Thursday that my plan is to just roll with that until I'm proven otherwise. In fact, one of the nurses in the room with me that day pronounced, "Now you're pregnant!" as soon as we all watched J's sample get injected into my uterus. We all laughed, commenting things like - hope it's that easy!

The only thing I can report right now is feeling some gentle cramping in that sweet little uterus fig. Not anything like a period, just a little action going on there. But every single cycle feels a bit different so I can't read into that at all and it's been going on for the last 3 days so... yeah. I'm back to temp charting again, but at this point in the cycle I can't say that those temps are revealing anything interesting; just elevated, as they should be post-ov.

13dpiui and Preparing

Not a happy day.

Symptoms:

CM is starting to dry up

Period-like cramps, not at all like what I was feeling right after the IUI.

Temperature dropped precipitously this morning to 97.9 and I'm never in the 97 range during a luteal phase.

PMS-y moodiness.

So that's that. I need to start planning now for the next cycle. My temp drop is about 3 days earlier than normal so I'm wondering if bleeding will start sooner. Bring it on! If my cycles are gonna keep failing, the least they can do is be shorter...

Cycle Day 3 (start of Clomid) would typically be this coming Sunday, but I'll hope that it starts sooner than that. I'd expect IUI to be scheduled Wednesday morning, Aug 6. But again, a couple days earlier than that would be just fine with me. My family is coming for a visit on August 20 and I'd spent the last two or three weeks so hopeful that we might be able to share tentatively exciting news with them when they were here!

No dice.

I really thought I could better control my emotions this time around knowing that we have a plan in place and we are working with such a great practice. I guess that was silly of me. What really has me down right now is the knowledge that I know nothing. There is no answer for what didn't work well in this cycle. I responded well to the medications, had a great lining prepared, followed all of the rules about no caffeine and no alcohol (well, till yesterday. just had to have myself half a beer). So what can I do next time to give myself a better chance?

9dpiui

Morning of the 9th day after our IUI. Things have been weird. Like... in my body, not life in general ;)

Life in General
I started volunteering at a cool non-profit this week. It was awesome to find an opportunity that actually aligns with my industry of event planning. Since they are a non-profit they put on several fundraisers each year so I am helping out with parts of an upcoming event. Right now there is a lot out of my comfort zone because we're cold-calling business asking for donations. That is relatively awkward for me and I haven't had a ton of success the last 3 days, but it will get better and I'm spending the days with a friend I met in the running group. We commiserate a lot about getting shot down repeatedly! Lotta laughs.

J has us doing another crazy fourteener hike tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about it because of A) the heart rate issue, B) the fact that he invited a friend to join, C) this is a double peak and we have to get up so incredibly early, like 3am (?!) or D) my new hiking boots haven't yet arrived and I'd need to wear light little sneakers. So if you're assuming it is all four, you would be correct. Oy!

Yesterday I got a couple interesting leads on the job front so I'll spend some time with that today.

Feelings
There is still a lot of hope in me - and J! - that this is our cycle. He asks me every day "When will we know?" He's never been this in-tune! It's a nice change even if it does feel like the line of questioning you get from a 4 year old rather than a sophisticated 32 year old financial analyst :-D
Mom calls frequently and asks in this veiled manner, "Anything new?" or "Sooooo, what's new?" This happens several times in one phone call so I have to give her credit where it's due for not flat-out asking me for updates everyday. I told her about the Clomid and then our plans to do the IUI, but wanted to save a few of the specific details of the whole situation to keep between just J and me. After all, if we were still doing it the of-fashioned way, I wouldn't be reporting that!!
I'm also feeling a small amount of anxiety. The root of it is this: I'm fully aware that this cycle may not be ours and we'd start the clock over again next weekend, but I'm anxious about how I would take it if that truly is the outcome in 7 or 8 days. What I want to avoid is shrouding myself in so much hope and positivity that if I do end up with a period in a week, my soul isn't crushed. I know we've got a couple more tries with Clomid/IUI planned and that protocol seems to fit us very well and it's so reasonably priced. The uncovered portion comes out to under $400 for us I think. So I'd like to think that I can keep my head above water next week if I get news I'm unhappy with. There is still time for us on this clock!

Body/Symptoms
For days 5-8 I was feeling some intense kind of cramping only on the right side of my lower abdomen/uterus. Every once in a while the feeling would jump to the left or be more centralized, but it was very focused on the right. Eventually, after 2 full days of it (5 and 6 dpiui) and then having it intensify the morning of the 3rd day (7dpiui), I was a little scared of an ectopic and called Elizabeth at CCRM. She said some ibuprofen is ok but if the discomfort comes through the ibuprofen, or if I have a fever, bleeding, or something else, call back immediately. So for the rest of 7dpiui, it was a discomfort I could handle (but pretty intense later at night) and I did some yoga and stretching before bed. When I woke up 8dpiui, I was almost worried that the feeling had subsided! It poked its head back in a little in the evening, but that's been it. So... who knows?! It could just be my right ovary normalizing itself after having to deal with being super stimulated by Clomid or being psyched out by the HCG trigger shot I took.
Breasts are a little on the heavy/tender side of things, but that's been somewhat standard in my cycle this past year so I'm not too excited about it. Also a good bit of watery/creamy CM, but you could easily chalk that up to me staying super hydrated.
My BBT hit a higher point than average this morning, 98.6, but I woke up just feeling so hot, it could just be an environmental influence. I've hit 98.6 a few times throughout the last year so it isn't completely unheard of during my tww. My chart is a little unusual looking though in that it appears as a steady climb up since ovulation. Once again, I'm trying to not read into it because it could just as easily start stair-stepping it's way down at any point and also my body had been introduced to a lot of chemicals it's never dealt with before which could easily influence BBT readings.


On the forums I've been visiting, there are a few ladies who got a positive HPT on their 10th day past IUI. I don't know if I'm totally crazy to try that tomorrow, but I'm tempted! Just unsure if there is a chance that the HCG trigger shot is still even a little in my system. Getting a false positive would in fact be a soul crusher.... I'll think a little more about it. Maybe wait till Sunday, 11dpiui.

5dpiui

We had a super busy weekend which is always a good thing when you are in the TWW part of your cycle. On Friday I had a million little errands to do including a mega grocery shopping trip to my favorite Whole Foods (I made a delish tofu stir fry that I was pretty proud of!). Saturday was a bit of a sleep-in day and then packing and food prep. J went to pick up a friend at the airport and we had some spicy egg salad sandwiches (sriracha! yes!) with arugula side salads and homemade key lime pie.

By 1pm we were in the car headed towards Leadville, CO. Based on the heinous traffic, we decided to stop at Breckenridge first to check in to our hotel. A second friend met us there and we strolled around town and had a snack on the sunshiny deck of Modis. Afterwards, J's ultra-runner friends went back to Leadville for the night and J and I celebrated his birthday (32! woo!) with Crepes a la Cart and then the best plate of nachos I've ever had!

Alarms were set for 3:15am Sunday morning. We rolled out of Breck by 4am and arrived in Leadville just after 5am for J's "Silver Rush 50" race. It was a pretty cool start and I was feeling oddly emotional. Was it pride for J? Was it the gorgeous rendition of the National Anthem? Was it just inspiration rubbing off from these 400+ insane athletes who train so hard and believe so deeply in their physical and mental abilities? But it could have been sleep deprivation or a weird hormone spike. Who knows... I've had a couple of weird medications thrown my way this month and I'm sure they are still affecting me.

So I had a long day of chasing J around the mountains, trying to catch him at various points. I spent a lot of time at a sweet little coffee shop and a lot of time in the car. I also spent a lot of time browsing - and subsequently killing my cell phone battery - through the forums on Fertile Thoughts. Very helpful to read notes from and correspond with other ladies where I am. There's a whole section for those of us going through IUI in July and I found one girl in particular who had her transfer on the same day.

5dpiui Summary
Five days later, where I am with things? I had a dip in my BBT this morning, a surprising 97.9, even though I didn't feel chilly at all when I woke up. Haven't noticed much in the CM department, but over the last several days it's either been really wet or creamy. There's been a little <ahem> breast or nipple sensitivity, but I attribute that to the spike in progesterone that should happen after ovulation. I've been feeling something in between cramps and little twinges in my lower abdomen for the last few days. I'm continuing the following:
          Baby Aspirin (81mg)
          Prenatal Multi Vitamin (2)
          Immunotect capsule (2)
          Maca capsule (gelatinized)
And I've stopped taking the DIM supplement. For whatever reason, that seems to stand out in my research as something that should be discontinued after pregnancy so I'm being cautious. I'm reluctant to give up the Maca because I credit that hormone balancer with keeping my endometrial lining nice and thick.

Concerns
Was worried about the spotting I saw on 2dpiui but feel confident now that it was just residual blood from the transfer. With the cramping I'm feeling, I have a worry about ectopic fertilization. The feelings have pretty consistently been on my right side and that's where all of my eggs matured. I've read a few anecdotal accounts of ectopic pregnancies being more common in IUI patients than natural conceptions. But none of those are from particularly reputable sources so I have no idea.