Eternal Waiting Game

Ah, here we are: the Two Week Wait. The old familiar. Thankfully I'm coming to the end. Well, "thankfully" in that bittersweet way. According to my highly regular cycle, I'll expect CD1 to be on Saturday, smack in the middle of my family visiting. Let's just believe that this aligning of the period stars is a positive - I'll have plenty of distractions during a time that I'm craving love, attention, affection. We've also put together a pretty active itinerary so it will be nice to not feel concerns about heart rate and getting out of breath.

Constantly charting for over a year can play serious mind games with you. Meaning? I've come to learn, much to my surprise, that I have a very regular 28 or 29 day cycle. This has caused two issues for me. 

• #1 - Imagine the gut wrenching shock of finding out I'm not actually preggers after my uber-regular cycle went an extra 5 days <dammit> Anyone who has thought she was pregnant for 5 days knows what happens in your brain in that short time.

• #2 - Despite the regularity of my period and ovulation days every month, nothing else seems to come into a pattern. The pre-period cramps I keep getting always show up on different day patterns prior to CD1 and always feel different. Naturally, that keeps me thinking each and every month that "this one is different, I know it!" <motherhecker> My boobs get super sore in different patterns and then I get some weird things, like dizziness, that will happen some months but not others. Man it's a total mindfuck.

Leading me to my chart focus of the moment: I had this wicked BBT drop on 10DPO which usually signals CD1 is right around the corner. Although that happened about a week early :/ When it swung back up the next day I got overexcited that it had been an implantation dip, woooooo! And then the next morning? Dropped again. Rahr. Sadnesses. But of course, this morning, this little body of mine was hot again! This game will likely continue for the next 3 days, keeping my heart in my throat. Puke.

Just trying to stay distracted, busy, centered. Enjoying yoga and bought myself a cute new mat as a special treat. It'll be great to have family here. They'll be our first visitors from the east coast since we moved out in April!