We left our jobs in March/April of 2013 and took off on several months of travel. Some of the things we heard from people were:
Wow that's so brave!
Oh my God I'm so jealous!
I'd love to quit my job and travel.
Holy crap! Are you crazy?
I went backpacking when I was 22. Damn, the stories I could tell you...
The common thread from just about everyone was:
Great to do that before you have kids.
Yeah, well, sure. Theoretically.
But what if, when all the dust has settled and you're done traveling, that whole kids thing isn't as easy as putting that two-piece puzzle together?
In our last month of traveling through South America, I spent some of my down time reading up on pre-pregnancy preparation and fertility. For over six months I'd been tracking my basal body temperature (BBT) so I knew my cycle inside and out and knew what to expect for ovulation. Near the end of the trip, I started limiting my alcohol and caffeine, made sure I was quitting certain meds and supplements, and was religiously taking a good pre-natal vitamin. We were having a super active trip so I felt good about my physical activity. Once we were back in the states, I nearly eliminated sugar and jacked up my nutrition again with lots of super veggies and fruit - we were both really excited to get back to our normal spinach smoothies, kale salads and oatmeal breakfasts. Marathon prep was a little behind schedule so we both jumped right into that. For sure, I figured, we'd be expecting a third member of the family in the first try! Two cycles at most... If it meant cutting out of the marathon, I could always try again next year.
No such luck. Here we are 10 cycles later a little stumped. At the start of this, I was freshly 30 and J was 31. We just celebrated our two year anniversary. And we're starting to get the questions. You know. The baby questions. When? I try to be polite, direct to another topic, even be fully direct with the parents. But it doesn't stop your mind from churning over the issue. Every cycle seemed full of promise. Different symptoms would pop up that were unusual for me: mid-cycle spotting around the time of possible implantation, crazy mood swings, period coming late a few times, nausea, headaches.
I try to accept the fact that it's just barely been a year when some women go through several years of this or, worse, are told they'll never have children. I try to take solace in the "You're still young, no rush" argument, but it feels so conciliatory. My hope was to be young when I had children, that was my intention. J and I have talked about wanting three. Better to start that process as early as possible, don't you think?
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