Scar Tissue

... is a great Red Hot Chili Peppers song. It's also becoming a big fertility concern of mine.

Back in 2007 I had back to back "abnormal" pap results so in early 2008 my gyno scheduled me for a colposcopy. I was 24 at the time and was more worried about the potential of a cervical cancer than my baby making future. Realistically, the priorities are correct... But did I not ask the right questions or do enough research?

In the last 3-4 months I've had two different technicians need to insert a catheter into my cervix. Both times went... poorly... The first time, for a saline infusion sonogram (SIS), was extremely painful. The technician told me at one point that my cervix kept "running away." Apparently it would kind of recede back up and away from the catheter. But she went right ahead and shoved it up in there. <wahhhhhhh> Not frigging comfy at all.

The second time was for the HSG last week. This tech was so much more gentle and, for the procedure, she determined that it wasn't 100% necessary to insert the catheter right through. She came right up as close as she could and then began injecting the dye. Fortunately, that was a go. I mentioned the fact that  I am on the "small" side as far as lady parts are concerned, brought up the difficulty in the SIS, and also the colposcopy. Colposcopy was the magic word. She picked right up on the presence of scar tissue and said that what she was seeing could definitely be a complicating factor to entry.

Naturally that has made my imagination go wild. I have spent about a year now thinking of every reason under the sun I may have trouble with natural conception. I briefly considered scar tissue or something related to the abnormal paps quite a while ago, but my so-so gyno from NY dismissed it out of hand. And now I just keep thinking... if a thin little catheter has trouble getting in, is it possible that scar tissue blocks the entry in a major way? Blocks out even all those itty bitty little spermy guys? There's something maddening about the possibility that all of our tries over the last year have been pointless. Especially as I watch so many others make their pregnancy announcements. Some of them, younger than me, are already on their second ones. And of course all of the people out there who get pregs "accidentally." What a sting.