Setbacks Continue

One of the reasons I was so excited and relieved to get on board with CCRM was the feeling that we were finally entering a pattern of moving forward. And I need to keep the perspective that just by being a patient there we are already better off than going cycle after cycle on our own. But, for today at least, there's no moving forward. We're stuck in a waiting period. Again! Still!

I just heard from our nurse to go over my most recent set of tests. Prolactin=normal. Testosterone=basically normal. Rubella=immune. Thyroid=normal. Thyroid antibodies=normal. Blood chemistry=normal. Vitamin D=good. DHEA= normal. Blood counts=mostly normal, low white bloods cells due to my sniffly nose that day. Antibody screen=negative (that's good). So what was wrong? Varicella. Ugh. 

Bottom line is that I don't have enough antibodies against chicken pox. Despite the fact that I was immunized as an infant, had the virus, and then re-immunized two years ago. The impact of re-immunizing again feels pretty steep right now: 60 days from the date of the first shot (it is a series of two). The earliest possible date we can try for conception again is 3 months away. September. Just thinking about how far away that is makes me tear up. I'm so damn frustrated. 

It would be possible to move forward without the vaccination series. We would need to sign a waiver for CCRM. The chances I end up catching chicken pox in these next summer months seem completely ludicrous. But there is still a chance and if we sign that waiver, move forward with a conception plan, and I get this ridiculous virus while pregs, I'm at risk for pneumonia and the baby at risk for all sorts of nasty. birth defects. Seems like one hell of a gamble. Sure, the odds that everything goes according to plan with no virus in the picture are good. But it takes about .3 seconds to realize the risks outweigh those good odds all day long. So yes, we could sign the waiver. But we don't really have a choice, do we...

Our regroup with Dr. M is this Friday. That's when we'll discuss what our best options are going forward. I'd been looking forward so much to this meeting. Now I just feel like it will be frustrating to talk about things that I can't touch for 3 months. I'm just so sad right now.