135 bpm

We had our first regularly-scheduled ultrasound today! My office says I'm 6w5d but the little blueberry in my uterus says it's been 7 weeks even. I guess he's big for his age??? We weren't able to actually hear a heartbeat, I suppose because blueberry is just so itty-bitty, but we saw that little heartspace fluttering away on the screen and our ultrasound tech, Emily, said it measured at a strong 135bpm. The top mass that is longer shaped is Baby Blueberry and the mass just below her (?) that looks like a heart shape (or a triangle, if you're less of a romantic) is the yolk sac that's keeping her fed.

I'm letting myself think about all sorts of wild things like... what it will be like to have a little one toddling around the new house a couple years from now... how strange it will be for a carseat to be a semi-permanent fixture in the backseat... the logistics of our mothers coming to stay with us after the birth in the summer...how we'll plan our holidays next year when there is a 5 or 6 month old to consider. It's so, well, shocking to my system to think about all of it! I pushed those thoughts away for the last year so it's a bit like uncharted territory.

Mom and I started to throw around shower ideas this week which, on one hand seems nutty, but on the other... well, it just seems smart! I would love if it could be a surprise - that's what I'd always imagined. But living across the country now and having to schedule flights. It's just overwhelming to consider all of it being done clandestinely! Truthfully, I'm happy to have input because I really don't want to do a traditional thing anyway. Definitely want to throw a co-ed bash! Now that we're so far away, it seems like one of very few opportunities to see extended family and friends and to eliminate 50% of them cause they are male? Well it just don't feel right! This obviously turns it into a more low-key party because we're starting with an 80-person guest list (eeep!) and throws a small wrench into the where-to-host-it matter. We'll have friends and family coming from Long Island, Manhattan, Central Jersey and Bucks County, PA. Manhattan is obviously the most central, but bound to be most expensive. What's a girl to do?!

For now, I'm just focused on getting my blueberry to keep on growing safe & sound. Oh, and also to get permanently hired before anyone figures out I'm pregs!