Well there's Little H. I got to visit with him/her yesterday at my CCRM graduation appointment. Those folks there are really fab and I especially love Ruby, the new lab technician. Emily has been a sweet ultrasound tech, doing nearly every one of my appointments, and Dr. M herself gave me a lot of confidence in the two appointments we had with her. My new nurse, Lana, as darling as she is, was really only the harbinger of my exciting change of status - I've hardly seen her at all since she was assigned to me only for our pregnancy cycle. But, when all is said and done, I don't want to see any of them ever again!! If you've had to work with a fertility clinic, you know what I mean. If you've been diagnosed as "unexplained infertile," you get it. I'll spend the next 18-24 months praying that the next time I want to be pregnant, I'll be able to do it the good ol' fashioned way. I mean, who knows?! Stranger things have certainly happened.
So I was very unceremoniously graduated from the clinic yesterday, praise god. The u/s tech and my nurse were extremely pleased with how the little bugger was measuring and moving. My, oh, my, this little one has places to be! We got a look at him at approximately 2:30 in the afternoon and he looked like he was getting set to sprint across some imaginary finish line! Hands were waving, feets were shuffling, it was really incredible. And I could see her little heart muscle pump-pump-pumping. Emily was especially enamored with her feet flying around. The head is laying near my right side and the feet extend sideways to my left. Seems like an odd position but what do I know...
At 9w4d I am feeling remarkably unpregnant. Virtually no nausea and my exhaustion could easily be chalked up to the crazy move we did about 10 days ago and my daily 5:20am alarm setting. Not feeling crazy emotional either, peeing seems to be a rather normal schedule. Some days I feel nervous about the lack of typical symptoms, but Nurse Erin said to roll with it and love every minute. So that is what I shall do :) I do have pretty tender boobs though. And a funny moment today: one of my colleagues is in her 2nd trimester and I was in a meeting with her this morning that wrapped up close to 12. She was commenting that we really needed to finish soon cause she just had to eat and I agreed saying, "Yeah I'm ravenous. I don't know why I'm so hungry!" Her response to me? Amusingly: "Hey, maybe you're pregnant." Haha. yeah, maybe I am ;)
Thus far, I think I've been subconsciously very guarded about this little one. While I've been very outwardly excited with anyone who knows, deeper in my heart I keep feeling concern and I think I've been staying a bit disconnected. In a way that's an easy default setting for me because of how difficult the last year+ has been. And I'm sure most first-tri mommies go through that when there aren't many (or any) physical signs of what's happening. But now, after such a strong showing at her 9 week appointment, I think I'm ready to really go all-in, emotionally. I also took a hospital tour over the weekend and that helped push me forward a bit. Our chances of having a healthy, full-term birth are no better or worse than anyone else's - I need to just believe in this, 100%, no questions asked. So I'm going for it.
Emily printed several extra copies of our best u/s images and I promptly cut them out and placed them in the engraved silver frames that are currently on a flight to my dad in NY and my grandmother in FL. The news is seriously on its way and we plan to tell the family friends we're spending Christmas with.
Surprise!
Baby H
Arriving July 2015
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