The Lengths We'll Go To

I'm eating out of the ocean.

Seriously, I've needed to become accustomed to breathing only through my mouth when eating and drinking several things these days. Making my salad tonight was a real... learning... experience.

Last week I bought a new cookbook, Cooking for Fertility, focused on fertility foods because I felt I needed more direction than just, "Oh yeah, that's a whole food. I'll eat it." I wanted better guidance on recipes rather than just eating salads and lentils. One of the first items I decided to try out was this Kale, Cucumber & Seaweed salad. Figuring that sushi works for me and I've tried a little seaweed salad from those sushi places before, it seemed doable.

Welp. Lemme tell ya. Woof.

For about a month I've been using a greens powder (Garden of Life Perfect Food) that has enough spirulina and chlorella to make you think you walked into the fish market. I religiously chug the mixture in two breaths, being sure not to breathe through my nose after each chug. Yuuuuuck! Additionally, the cookbook I bought made a suggestion to drink kombucha. It is a fermented tea and therefore smells a little like a brewery. It's funny, you'd think that would be easy to take, but just knowing that it isn't really a beer somehow makes it a beverage that I gulp down without breathing through my nose. Yawn.

You'd think I'd be used to this... But a seaweed salad is a new level! Most of what's in it is pretty good! Base of kale, chopped cucumber and red onion, shredded apple, black sesame seeds. The dressing is apple cider vinegar, pineapple juice, sesame oil, garlic. Of course there's also soaked Wakame and toasted Nori. Weeeeeird! The wakame seaweed comes in a zip bag all dried out. I put it in a measuring cup with some water and walked away. WOWZERS! I came back maybe 10 minutes later and it had blossomed out of the cup! Kind of a neat trick. But I'm a texture person and man is it slimy. Eeeeep :(

I'm trying to choke it down here remembering that I'm nourishing my body. A big piece of frosted chocolate cake may be easier to gobble up and have seconds tolerate but it sure isn't helping heal the imbalances in my body. So, seaweed it is... Man, when this baby gets here one day, he or she is gonna have a lot of stories to sit through!

EWCM!

Just a disclaimer - this is definitely a TMI kinda post. If you aren't knee deep in fertility terms, this will probably be too much of an "ick" for you.

For anyone who was lucky enough to get pregs on an "oops" this is likely an unknown. But for the rest of us who have been trying for long months or years, we are very familiar with cervical mucous and the various patterns it goes through during a cycle. Anywhere from dry to sticky to creamy to... egg white! Yeah, gross. Comparing the fluid that leaks from your crotch when you're at your most fertile to a breakfast food is, in my humble opinion, super unappealing.

As unappealing as it is, egg white cervical mucous (EWCM) is both super critical to the babymaking - it helps transport sperm through the scary vagina and cervix into the lovely, welcoming uterus - and it is something I don't have. I've been looking for it every single month over this past year to no avail. I've tried all the tips and tricks like being sure to drink a ton of water so you're fully hydrated and taking mucinex around ovulation to thin out mucous secretions.  Still, nothing.

So imagine my surprise to notice it this morning! What's different? I've had two needling sessions with AJ in the past 11 days. I've taken 8 doses of the fabulous Chinese herbs. I've done 3 or 4 yoga classes. I've gone for 2 legit runs plus an intense trail run. I've been taking some form of the stinky, salt water smelling greens mix for the last 8 days. I'm doing lots of deep breathing exercises, repeating my mantra when I remember. I've had several days of no sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine over the last 2 weeks. I'm making a conscious effort to pull back on processed foods, white flour and refined sugars/carbs. I hate saying this so I'll say it quietly - I'm making a lot of freaking sacrifices here. 

On the other hand, I also feel like I'm finally on a good track. I feel like I'm doing something meaningful, working towards better general health. It seems that my moods and emotions are more even and stable which is a sizable relief for someone so ruled by emotion :) Those are subjective things though. I feel like I got to see a real, tangible side effect of all of this effort. I suppose I could be wrong and it's just a coincidence. But I'm choosing to believe that seeing a hint of EWCM is proof that what I'm doing is working. BAM.

I'm not expecting ovulation this month because of the cyst. But now I'm strongly contemplating giving up the IUI next month also, maybe give myself a shot at a natural conception. By then I'd have about 6 or 7 weeks of this lifestyle change under my belt. Do I dare start thinking of giving up the IUI for another cycle beyond that? That would mean a natural try in the first week of September and the first week of October. That sounds scary and liberating at the same time. But the bottom line here is staying strong with my nutrition and finding joy again. Running down Green Mountain yesterday was so thoroughly enjoyable. Better than eating handcrafted ice cream from Little Man? Well, it sure lasted longer! :)

Field Trip to the East!

Well I guess I'm 100% in the TCM game! I went for my second acupuncture sesh yesterday afternoon and, while I was spending time as a human porcupine, decided to pull the trigger and sign on for the special Chinese herbs. I'm taking something called Xiang Fu, twice a day, as a tea preparation. Obviously, I googled it as soon as I left the office and you'll never believe what I found. Although, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. One of the first results from the search was TCM Wiki! There is a wikipedia for Traditional Chinese Medicine! Ha!

http://www.tcmwiki.com/wiki/xiang-fu <---- There it is in black and white.

Xiang Fu seems to be a relatively straightforward herb used to treat a lot of different things. It seems to be combined with many other herbs to specify its treatment possibilities. But on its own, it is indicated for liver depression and qi stagnation. And based on the last "period" I had, something is definitely stagnating in me. Also, it is the essential herb for regulating qi and menorrhea, and alleviating pain in gynecology for it can regulate qi and blood circulation, soothe stagnant liver qi. These all sound like things my little bod needs some help with.

What is "Qi"? Yeah... It's a tiny word with a lot of meaning. At its base, it refers simply to energy. Here are a few more specifics about it:

• Qi manifests itself in various meridians that run through the body. These meridians, or channels of energy, are the areas that are targeted by acupuncture.
• Qi energy is converted in the body into 4 substances and 2 fluids: Qi, Yin, Yang, Blood & Essence and Moisture. These substances and fluids convert our air, water and food into waste and help the waste leave our bodies.
• Qi forms all of our organs.

My takeaway? Qi is basically the essence of life. Better be nice to it!

AJ really gave me the full needle treatment. There were 3 needles in my head, one in each ear, about 4 in my abdomen, a couple in my knees, a couple in my feet and, to top it all off, one in each of my hands. In that soft spot between your index finger and thumb. It felt really weird! But once she positioned the heat lamp over my belly, I was as good as passed out! This acupuncture thing is awfully relaxing. For now, I'm choosing to buy in, body, mind and soul. That Clomid didn't do me any favors so for now I'm choosing the nature path.

Experimenting with TCM

Yay! More acronyms! TCM has floated around in various blogs I've meandered through and some fertility books and websites. The acronym doesn't usually "stick" for me and I need to go look it up, but I think it's here to stay. Traditional Chinese Medicine.

When we first met with Dr. Minjarez at CCRM, she did mention that I may want to consider acupuncture, as several of her patients had seen some success in pairing the western medicine ART techniques in which CCRM specializes and traditional eastern methods with which many of us in the US are unfamiliar. My takeaway by the time of our regroup in June was that our numbers were so strong, an IUI was sure to be a success - I'd consider the additional spend on acupuncture only if the IUI didn't work.

So it was only one unsuccessful round for the IUI. I haven't totally lost hope or anything. But I just figure, if a little needle poking and some of the dietary wisdom from the ancient Chinese can only assist my attempts at 'assisted reproduction,' why not go for it? I anticipate starting the Clomid again tomorrow and having another transfer two Thursdays from now. In the meantime, as part of my TCM experiment, I've had my first acupuncture session, I ordered a recommended book (The Infertility Cure), set up two more acu appointments related to my IUI schedule, and started up 3 additional supplements - Vitamin D 4000 mcg, methylated folate and a spirulina based greens powder. Dr. Jane has also prescribed me yoga at least 1-3x a week and aerobic exercise 3-5x, as well as a particular kind of meditative deep breathing.

When I read things like bananas encouraging "dampness," and are therefore something I should avoid, I admit I feel some skepticism. But it's also the same practice that discourages refined sugars, processed foods and stress. That all makes good sense to me! If I need to avoid bananas in favor of plenty of other veggies, fruits and good grains, I guess I can make it work. Like I said, it is a bit of an experiment, but it is also something I'm trying to approach with an open mind and some enthusiasm. Cause hey, you never know!

5dpiui

We had a super busy weekend which is always a good thing when you are in the TWW part of your cycle. On Friday I had a million little errands to do including a mega grocery shopping trip to my favorite Whole Foods (I made a delish tofu stir fry that I was pretty proud of!). Saturday was a bit of a sleep-in day and then packing and food prep. J went to pick up a friend at the airport and we had some spicy egg salad sandwiches (sriracha! yes!) with arugula side salads and homemade key lime pie.

By 1pm we were in the car headed towards Leadville, CO. Based on the heinous traffic, we decided to stop at Breckenridge first to check in to our hotel. A second friend met us there and we strolled around town and had a snack on the sunshiny deck of Modis. Afterwards, J's ultra-runner friends went back to Leadville for the night and J and I celebrated his birthday (32! woo!) with Crepes a la Cart and then the best plate of nachos I've ever had!

Alarms were set for 3:15am Sunday morning. We rolled out of Breck by 4am and arrived in Leadville just after 5am for J's "Silver Rush 50" race. It was a pretty cool start and I was feeling oddly emotional. Was it pride for J? Was it the gorgeous rendition of the National Anthem? Was it just inspiration rubbing off from these 400+ insane athletes who train so hard and believe so deeply in their physical and mental abilities? But it could have been sleep deprivation or a weird hormone spike. Who knows... I've had a couple of weird medications thrown my way this month and I'm sure they are still affecting me.

So I had a long day of chasing J around the mountains, trying to catch him at various points. I spent a lot of time at a sweet little coffee shop and a lot of time in the car. I also spent a lot of time browsing - and subsequently killing my cell phone battery - through the forums on Fertile Thoughts. Very helpful to read notes from and correspond with other ladies where I am. There's a whole section for those of us going through IUI in July and I found one girl in particular who had her transfer on the same day.

5dpiui Summary
Five days later, where I am with things? I had a dip in my BBT this morning, a surprising 97.9, even though I didn't feel chilly at all when I woke up. Haven't noticed much in the CM department, but over the last several days it's either been really wet or creamy. There's been a little <ahem> breast or nipple sensitivity, but I attribute that to the spike in progesterone that should happen after ovulation. I've been feeling something in between cramps and little twinges in my lower abdomen for the last few days. I'm continuing the following:
          Baby Aspirin (81mg)
          Prenatal Multi Vitamin (2)
          Immunotect capsule (2)
          Maca capsule (gelatinized)
And I've stopped taking the DIM supplement. For whatever reason, that seems to stand out in my research as something that should be discontinued after pregnancy so I'm being cautious. I'm reluctant to give up the Maca because I credit that hormone balancer with keeping my endometrial lining nice and thick.

Concerns
Was worried about the spotting I saw on 2dpiui but feel confident now that it was just residual blood from the transfer. With the cramping I'm feeling, I have a worry about ectopic fertilization. The feelings have pretty consistently been on my right side and that's where all of my eggs matured. I've read a few anecdotal accounts of ectopic pregnancies being more common in IUI patients than natural conceptions. But none of those are from particularly reputable sources so I have no idea.