The Final Countdown

Less than a month. In fact, under 4 weeks! One of my apps tracks the daily countdown and I'm at 23 days to go. Honestly, there were times I never thought I'd get here. Not because I had "doom and gloom" ideas that something could go wrong, but it just seemed so far away! The weeks that this little biscuit was the size of a raspberry, the length of a carrot, or when she finally hit that crown-to-toe milestone instead of crown-to-rump... Well, the prospect of her being flesh and blood and in my arms just seemed like an impossible dream. I'm so excited. I'm so scared. And I'm so uncomfortable!!

Naively, I always believed that the pregnant women who complained about the "last month" or the "last stretch" were just tired out and over the whole glowing mama-to-be shindig. Now I know. The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me god. I am so thankful to have this experience and I would never trade in this little girl to get rid of the discomfort. But DAMN this last bit really, truly sucks. It ain't no joke. 

In the last couple weeks I've developed for-serious edema: my sausage feet can't possibly belong to me and it is actually painful to put weight on them first thing in the morning; my beautiful wedding rings have been off for a week or so; I don't recognize my face when I see pictures 😕. Sleep comes only in 2 hour spurts (I suppose that's practice for newborn life?) due to the discomfort in my hips, in my abdomen every time I need to move, in my constant need to empty my bladder, in my temperature. When she's awake and moving, I could almost believe I'm having contractions because of the top-to-bottom stretching pressure she causes through my whole uterus - her head hits my bladder so hard that I get a pins and needles type of stab down there. She also makes a lot of moves in there that are just flat-out uncomfortable and force me to focus on my breathing. I'm on my third yeast infection in as many months. And I guess the relaxin has kicked in hard because my pelvis feels like someone is trying to peel it open periodically throughout the day. 

Fear about labor and delivery creeps in from time to time, but there isn't much to do about it other than accept the challenge to take on the pain and be amazed by how the body works. In an acupuncture session I was listening to a Circle + Bloom relaxation clip specifically for labor and I really believed it was altering my perception of the process. Later that day, checking email, I saw a 20% coupon off their downloads. Meant to be, right?! I'll take care of that today so I can start listening and prepping. Gotta shake the nerves in favor of pulling on my Brave Big Girl Pants!